Mae West - Quotes


from Goodness Had Nothing To Do With It

"I'm her and she's me and we're each other". (on Diamond 'Lil)

"More people saw me than saw Napoleon, Lincoln and Cleopatra. I was better known than Einstein and Picasso. ... I changed the fashion of two continents. The style of the Gay Nineties became the rage ... women were trying to walk and talk like me. Women became more sex-conscious - sex was out in the open and fun."

from Night After Night

Woman: Goodness, what beautiful diamonds

MW: Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.


Woman: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

MW: "I don't know but it saves an awful lot of time. (Maudie Triplett)


Woman: "Chemistry's a wonderful thing."

MW: "I'll say it is, but I know a couple of druggists that never made a dime 'til Prohibition."


from She Done Him Wrong

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost."

"Come up some time and see me."


Cary Grant: "Haven't you ever met a man who could make you happy?"

MW: "Sure, lots of times."


Man looks at her diamond necklace.

MW: "Handle it with care. It's only my heart."


MW: "You never heard of me cheatin' anyone, have ya?"

Landlord: "No, not about money."


Serge the Russian: "The men of my country go wild about women with yellow hair."

MW: "I'm glad you told me. I wanna keep straight on my geography.'"

Serge: "You were made for love and love only. Surely you have enough diamonds."

MW: "Diamonds is my career."

Serge: "I swear I shall die to make you happy."

MW: "You wouldn't be of much USE to me dead."


Cary Grant slaps cuffs on her.

MW: "Those absolutely necessary? You know, I wasn't born with them."

Grant: "All those men would have been a lot safer if you had."

MW: "I don't know . . . hands ain't everything."


Cary Grant: "You bad girl. . . ."

MW: "You'll find out. . . ."

from her nightclub act:

"I feel like a million tonight. But one at a time."

from I'm No Angel

Carnival Barker: "Miss Tira, the vision of supreme pulchritude ... the only show in town where the tickets are made of asbestos."


Man: "I don't suppose you believe in marriage, do you?"

Tira: "Only as a last resort. Ah, what do you do for a living?"

Man: "Sort of a politician ..."

Tira: "I don't like work either ..."


Tira: "I had to shoot a lion once."

Lady: "Really? Was he mad?"

Tira: "Well he wasn't exactly pleased about it."


Man: "You've been awfully kind ... I'll never forget you."

Tira: "No one ever does."


Man: "Do you mind if I get personal?"

Tira: "Go right ahead. I don't mind if you get familiar ..."


Man: "You were wonderful tonight."

Tira: "I'm always wonderful at night."

Man: "Tonight I thought you were especially good."

Tira: "When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better."

Man: "If I could only trust you ..."

Tira: "You can ... hundreds have."


Man: "I'm crazy about you."

Tira: "I did my best to make you that way."

Man: "What are you thinking about?"

Tira" "Same thing you are ..."

from Belle of the Nineties

Miss Ruby Carter exits boat.

Man: "Are you in town for good?"

Ruby: "I expect to be here, but not for good."


Man: "You're the kind of woman I've dreamed about ... always desired. I'm wild about you."

Ruby: "Some of the wildest men make the best pets."


Ruby: "Don't let a man put anything over on ya 'cept an umbrella."

from Goin' To Town

Cleo (Borden) says that marriage is "a new kind of racket."


Man: "You ain't scared of me 'cause they say I'm a bad man?"

Cleo: "I'm a good woman for a bad man."


Man: "I'm rich. I'll give you my ranch. Everything I own."

Cleo: "You certainly make it sound attractive."

(Cleo rolling dice against man)

Cleo: "Get this straight, if I win, I don't marry you ... I get that strip of land on the delta."

Man: "And if you lose you marry me."

Cleo: "Yes, and I get everything you got."


Judge: "Let me remind you to look out for crooks."

Cleo: "Let the crooks look out for themselves."


Man: "I'll look after the cattle and the men for you."

Cleo: "Just the cattle ... I'll take care of the men."


Man: "What do you mean by shooting at me? I don't happen to be a target ... not even for somebody like you."

Cleo: "What do you know about me?"

Man: "Just what I see and that's quite sufficient."

Cleo: "You're easily satisfied."

Man: "What do you want of me?"

Cleo: "Nothing ... yet."

Man: "You possess an extraordinary sense of humor."

Cleo: "Yes, and that ain't all."


Man is shocked by Cleo's bold courtship, and warns her that she can't get a man with a gun.

Cleo: "Oh yea?"


Man: "This is the first time I ever came in contact with a woman like you."

Cleo: "If I can help it, it won't be the last ... "

Man: "You're a dangerous woman."

Cleo: "Thanks ... you look good to me to ... I'll take a shot at this lady business."


Cleo: "We're intellectual opposites."

Ivan: "What do you mean?"

Cleo: "I'm intellectual and your opposite."

Ivan (bristling): "I'm an aristocrat, and the backbone of my family."

Cleo: "Your family ought to see a chiropractor."


Snob: "Speaking of relatives, Mrs. Colton, have your ancestors ever been traced?"

Cleo: "Why yes, but they were too smart - they couldn't trace 'em."


Cleo on Delilah: A lady barber who made good.

Quotes which we haven't attributed yet:

So many men, so little time. -- Mae West

It's not the men in my life; it's the life in my men. -- Mae West

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. -- Mae West

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. -- Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. -- Mae West

I've been in more laps than a napkin. -- Mae West

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. -- Mae West

He who hesitates is a damned fool. -- Mae West

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. -- Mae West

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. -- Mae West

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae West

Too much of a good thing is wonderful. -- Mae West

When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before. -- Mae West

Once, during a trial in which she was accused of indecency on stage, the judge asked, "Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?" She answered, "On the contrary, your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it."

I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better. -- Mae West

I always say, keep a diary, and some day it'll keep you. -- Mae West

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then. As long as you don't break any. -- Mae West

It's better to be looked over than overlooked. -- Mae West

When I'm good, I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm very good. -- Mae West

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? -- Mae West

Return to 611 RAVENSWOOD.

* A filmography and reviews.

* A discography

* A fan's appreciation.

* A West bibliography and reviews.

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Revised: November 09, 1997